"Where There are Friends, There is Wealth"
- Plautas (3rd century)
“Everyday I’m more convinced that the best of life happens in the margins.”
- Jamie Kurtz
Have you ever felt like your life is so full or so busy that you have no margin left to deal with one more thing? If you hear one more piece of bad news, you might explode. Have you been there?
If so, or if you are there now, you have no emotional margin left in your life. Other types of margin in your life involve time, space, and relationships, but let me explain what I mean and why it’s so important.
One of my favorite statements Jesus makes shows his desire that we “have life, and have it to the full” (John 10:10)
I am a man in pursuit of this full life. But what does that mean?
I feel like I am always trying to get somewhere and accomplish something. I am always striving to be a better version of me. Part of it is from within and part of it is from the culture around me driven toward an ever elusive place called “success.”
I live in the suburbs. The smell of success is all around me. People have lots of stuff. I have more stuff than I need. And yet somehow, paradoxically, it’s never enough, but that’s another story.
“Listening pulls you into the current moment of your life” - Ariel and Shya Kane
(much of what I have learned about listening is from them: www.transformationmadeeasy.com)
Notice that the quote above doesn’t say anything about what listening does for others, even though I think people can really feel when you are truly listening. But surprisingly, that quote says that listening helps pull YOU into the current moment of YOUR own life.
Do you realize how much head clutter you and I live with every day? Our heads are worse than our closets with clutter and more like the junk drawer in the kitchen. Click "Read More" to continue...
Do you want to know a secret? Knowing this secret will change how you see and relate to people you encounter every day. And if you implement the practical steps below, it will change your life and build your relational wealth.
Here it is: Everyone is wearing a sign around their neck.
Every day we all walk around our homes, our jobs, our churches, even the grocery store with a sign hanging around our neck. Everyone has one. And generally speaking, it says some form of the same thing. Can you guess what it says?
That's right. "Make Me Feel Special!"
That’s the secret.
I’d like to pretend that I’m a tough guy and I don’t need anyone to notice me, but I have the sign around my neck too. We all have this hidden agenda, as we relate to the world around us, to feel special and important. But what can you do with this knowledge to help build your relational wealth? Keep reading and I will tell you exactly...
Today's post comes from Mike Berry, my good friend, writer, and inspiration to so many families. I have personally used his practical parenting tips in my life. Check out his blog: Confessions of a Parent, and his most recent offering: The Adoptive Parent Toolbox
Last week I was meeting with a young couple who are getting married this fall. As we talked about their wedding, and the type of ceremony they would like to have, we also spent some time talking about married life and some lessons I've learned over 14 years of marriage.
At one point in the conversation I bluntly said to both of them- "Don't have a TV in your bedroom in your new house after you get married!" A bit puzzled, they hesitantly nodded. "Because," I continued, "a married couple's bedroom is sacred on so many levels!" They agreed.
I'm so excited to announce the release of my first ebook!
I have high hopes that it will be a valuable resource to you who care about building high quality relationships! It's a power packed personal training guide with 21 immediately applicable exercises anyone can do to train for relational success.
To get your copy, all I ask is that you subscribe to my email list.
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I have messed up some relationships recently. And I have needed to apologize. The great irony is that I teach others how to have successful relationships.
As I was enjoying my humble pie, I began wondering… How do you see your blind spots?
This morning I sat across from her at a local diner just looking at her in wonder. She loves going out for breakfast and spending time together so her eyes were sparkling a bit. As I sat there gazing into her blue-green eyes for a long time she looked back into mine with a calming smile. It was soulful.
I reveled in the moment. I reminisced our first date, where similarly, we sat across the table and stared into one another’s eyes for what seemed like hours.
She broke the comfortable silence, “I didn’t used to be this way before I met you. I wasn’t able to look someone in the eye like this. I’ve changed. I think that is why I went through everything I did before we met so I was ready to meet you.”
It takes a lot of inner strength to sit quietly, and look into someone’s eyes. It’s powerful and intimate, like being naked and unashamed. It’s scary, yet powerfully inviting.
I’m just like you. I love receiving a compliment. It just feels good. It makes me smile and puff out my chest a little. However, I must confess that I have taken these compliments and used them to piece together my identity.
The lack of compliments has caused me to avoid some behaviors, and the receiving of them has caused me to alter my behavior to try and receive more of them. Sadly, it’s not much different than training a puppy. We have all been socialized this way since we were children.
The problem arises when I NEED to keep hearing these compliments to feel good about myself or about decisions I make. It’s called approval seeking. I’ve been addicted to it for longer than I can remember.
Like a drug, it feels good. But the pursuit of it is both addictive and self destructive. In fact, approval seeking can be deadly. Let me explain.
People who overcome adversity inspire me. Recently I had coffee with one such person who has overcome social anxiety so strong, that he was once terrified to talk to the cashier at the grocery store.
Last week I wrote about the conceptual side of fear which really lives only in our minds. This time I want to take you with me into a great conversation with a great guy who has some tips for those of you who may face fears in social settings.
Do you get paralyzed by fear when talking to people you don’t know? Are you nervous to approach a someone you are interested in? Do you need help speaking up? Then this one is for you. Enjoy this conversation with my friend Justin, a former shy guy, who now can even communicate in front of large groups of people.
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Joel is a husband, father, musician, and lover of life; especially life that is shared with the wealth of amazing friends and family he is blessed to have near.